The Ugly Portrayal of a Great Man…

So I read today that on Friday (6^th November 2009), the renound con artist Derek Acorah is going to attempt a ‘séance’ in which he will speak to the recently deceased legend of pop Michael Jackson.

http://www.inentertainment.co.uk/20091106/michael-jackson-the-live-seance-tonight/

Now I’m a man who knows just how stupid the idea of the psychic is. Of course people cannot read minds. Of course people don’t get ‘energies’ from objects. And forgod sake, don’t tell me you can move a table simply by touching it?

But I’m not going to go into that rant (I suspect I’ll leave that for another time!) Instead, I just wished to express my disgust for this totally disrespectful act.

Michael Jackson was a superb showman, who sung some of the best pop records of all time. He will be remembered for being a superbly talented individual, who had his problems (not to mention the law suits.) However, no matter what the result was, that’s not what he’ll be remembered for.

So what’s the best thing to do in this situation? Of course the corporate machine was going to get hold of this, hence the release of the new film “This is it”. Now personally I haven’t seen it, so I won’t comment as to the potential level of tastelessness this may show. But to give a primetime hour slot on one of the best TV channels in the UK to a man who will pretend to be possessed by the spirit of Michael is quite frankly repulsive.

How can you possibly justify allowing this to be broadcast? If I’m being honest I don’t believe psychic ability should encouraged on TV at all, as all it seems to do is justify falsehood. But to do it with a man with which millions of people are still mourning and paying their respects to, who showed the world just how to put on a stage show, who wrote songs as timeless as time itself, is beyond me.

I won’t be watching it (I don’t actually have a television in my room if I’m being honest), but if you want to I would do it with a real understanding of its ugly portrayal of a great man. How anyone can bring themselves to do it is beyond me.

What exactly is wrong with Derren Brown?

The world has always had controversial figures. They’re the people we like to look at and take sides with. Much like the unoriginal marmite routine, you either love them or hate them.

At the moment, it seems the biggest controversy surrounds a great hero of mine, Derren Brown. Just recently, he ‘predicted’ the lottery numbers live on television. If you missed it, we’ll, I’ll assume your cave on mars is too homely to leave. For the rest of us, it was a great event.

And then the theories started flooding in. From trick balls with the numbers written on the in LED’s, to just pure sorcery and wizards conjuring, we pretty much got them all.

But in the end, Mr Brown (the one who seems to get everything right as supposed to the other Mr Brown running the country) revealed he did it through a technique called ‘The Wisdom of Crowds’.

Now I won’t go into the finer details of this (I may leave that to another blog), but basically he suggested that using lots of peoples guesses based upon past numbers and tapping into their subconscious would produce the results. Which it did. Apparently.

And then the outcries started. Some people called him a crook and a liar. Others claimed him as a fake. Others sat in their mars caves happier than the rest of us.

Now, I understand that people can become very passionate about the things they love. Anyone has the cheek to tell me heavy metal isn’t music and they will end up starting at their own skull as I turn them inside out. But why do we need to get so het up about what is basically a TV show?

No matter what anyone else says, Derren Brown is, without doubt, a fantastic showman and brilliant entertainer. His ability to get people talking and keep your interest, coupled with his genius in understanding the human psyche, make him a fantastic person to just watch and enjoy.

So instead of shouting and complaining all the time about whether or not what he says is true, why can’t we all just sit back and enjoy the ride. I for one am fascinated to see what the bloody TV advert was all about, just as I’m sure you all are.

Well apart from you Mars people. I hope your enjoying those caves. A postcard would be nice every so often.

Eating is a positive experience, no matter what they say…

As stupid a way as it is to start a blog, I really love to eat.

There’s nothing better than sitting in front of the television with a beer and your favourite food. Whether that’s a fattening pie or a slightly off-putting bowl of salad dressed with the water broken by a pregnant woman, what we eat is what we love.

So why do we listen do people who tell us what to eat all the time? On the TV we constantly see people looking at all the food we apparently eat with the face of someone who’d just seen their child run over the neighbour’s dog. And then they have the cheek to stare at out shit, and tell us it smells bad, which apparently proves how unhealthy we are. No Mrs Arse Face, shit is MEANT to smell bad…

If you were told running the London marathon would be good for you by a doctor, would you apply today? No, you’d rather sit on your couch and watch it on television. Or not in most cases, we’d rather stay in bed, because the coverage does start stupidly early…

I’m fed up with people telling us what to eat all the time. If I want a cake, I’ll have a cake. If I want a burger, I’ll have a goddamn burger. And if I want to eat a human, well, actually please stop me there quite honestly, I may have gone too far…

But my point is, surely we would rather live happily enjoying what we enjoy and dying happy then suffering on wheatgrass and dried bamboo and dying a miserable sod? If I had the choice, I’d die on my next point than live to 100 on rice cakes and rabbit food. And I bet you are exactly the same.

Life isn’t for drawing out. It’s for living. I may have talked for too long now about food. But this proves just how hungry I am now.

And what am I going to do? Have some chips. Because I want to. And to those who want me to be a boring sod, then that’s fine. But those cucumbers you bought me are going in the bin…

Music is an entirely subjective medium…

Can someone explain to me exactly why we all have such an opinion on music?

I mean, if we think about it, we all realise that music is one of those things that we all have our own personal tastes with, like with food or, well, that’s the only analogy I can make to be honest. But you get the idea. Music is something we all have our own preferences on.

So why is it that we all argue and disagree incessantly on the subject? It’s something that clearly confuses me.

Now I’m a metal head. I love nothing more than sitting back with a beer listening to a bit of Metallica, Megadeth or System of a Down. But I wouldn’t say I listen to metal only, because I’m huge fan of Pendulum, The Prodigy and other non-metal bands. But that’s just how I feel about music. It’s not going to be shared by many others, but that doesn’t bother me.

So why does it bother everyone else? Just because I don’t like 60s music like the Rolling Stones and The Beatles, or I don’t like the one pop music song that repeats itself all over Radio 1, doesn’t mean to say I should be put in the stock and have eggs hurled at me by 16^th century chavs.

Music is just something we all have our own opinion on. Certain types of music and certain songs just give us that feeling that makes us feel so much better. When we have a bad day, we turn to our music to cheer us up. When you want to amuse yourself on a boring Wednesday morning, you put your music on to give yourself half a chance not to top yourself.

So I won’t complain if you prefer the Sugababes to Mötorhead, I’m not going to attack you for your love of Wagner, and I don’t really care if N-Dubz speaks to you in ways I can’t understand. Iron Maiden make me feel like living a fantastic life. And when I’m down, I’ll listen to Machine Head and be ready to face another day. And if you think that’s a stupid thing, then it’s you who clearly has the problem. Because we are all different, and music is the ultimate demonstrator of this.

Right, and so it begins…

So, I now have a blog. Isn’t that exciting…

I did always want to write one of these, but I didn’t want one where you just upload pictures and videos and such. I actually wanted something where I could actually write articles and things, as well as discuss my general doings, goings and occasional comings… (jokes to the usual numbers please…)

Now, because I’m new, not to the world of internet and online, but to the seemingly wonderful world of WordPress, I shall do some texts and demo’s to make sure everything works.

First, here is a picture of a cat in slippers.

I'm not a fan of cats really, I just thought it'd be amusing to do this.

Next, here’s a video of some Llamas in hats.

If any of this doesnt work, it will help me to sort it out for next time. Thats the idea really.

OK, now that’s done, I might wrap up now.

Hopefully some people will actually read this. If you do, please send pleasent comments in reply and such. That would be just great

Until next time, as Charlie Brooker might say, go away!