Eating is a positive experience, no matter what they say…

September 7, 2009

As stupid a way as it is to start a blog, I really love to eat.

There’s nothing better than sitting in front of the television with a beer and your favourite food. Whether that’s a fattening pie or a slightly off-putting bowl of salad dressed with the water broken by a pregnant woman, what we eat is what we love.

So why do we listen do people who tell us what to eat all the time? On the TV we constantly see people looking at all the food we apparently eat with the face of someone who’d just seen their child run over the neighbour’s dog. And then they have the cheek to stare at out shit, and tell us it smells bad, which apparently proves how unhealthy we are. No Mrs Arse Face, shit is MEANT to smell bad…

If you were told running the London marathon would be good for you by a doctor, would you apply today? No, you’d rather sit on your couch and watch it on television. Or not in most cases, we’d rather stay in bed, because the coverage does start stupidly early…

I’m fed up with people telling us what to eat all the time. If I want a cake, I’ll have a cake. If I want a burger, I’ll have a goddamn burger. And if I want to eat a human, well, actually please stop me there quite honestly, I may have gone too far…

But my point is, surely we would rather live happily enjoying what we enjoy and dying happy then suffering on wheatgrass and dried bamboo and dying a miserable sod? If I had the choice, I’d die on my next point than live to 100 on rice cakes and rabbit food. And I bet you are exactly the same.

Life isn’t for drawing out. It’s for living. I may have talked for too long now about food. But this proves just how hungry I am now.

And what am I going to do? Have some chips. Because I want to. And to those who want me to be a boring sod, then that’s fine. But those cucumbers you bought me are going in the bin…


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